"The Bitch Is Back" (Thanks, Sir Elton John)

Well, I am a wretched blogger. I never blog, primarily because I live in fear of what I might blog about. I am really bad to tell the actual truth in blog posts. For instance, my last post involved killing my muse through a variety of neglectful and malicious activities.

This time, though, I have good news and thought it might be nice to blog about it.

The bitch is back.

And my muse is most certainly a bitch. She did produce a nice Wiccan Haus submission, but instead of editing it as requested for resub, she's turned her attention to fanfiction.

Why in the hell did she decide my next project needed to be---get this 'cause it's insane--an Allstate insurance fanfiction urban romance called "You're in Good Hands" starring Mayhem and the pretty girl off the Werther's candy commercials???

Yes. That is where my time and attention are going these days. I'm hooking up a couple of TV commercial characters in what is rapidly turning into a really fun project. I double-dog dare you to start following it at www.fanfiction.net/~arcole just for the hell of it. Believe it or not, it does have reviews. I'm not the only person out there captive to an unhealthy attraction to Mayhem. Dean Winters is super hot.

But I've learned a couple of things the hard way in the past few years. The first is that I never need to eat wheat ever again. It does awful things to my body. The second is that if writing is not FUN, I will not do it. Or I'll just write out of some kind of terrible pressure to perform/succeed/begin-a-profitable-writing-career-that-will-take-me-away-from-all-this-and-make-all-my-dreams-come-true.

And when the FUN goes, the crap writing starts and my muse begins to die a slow choking death from stress.

Now, I am not turning my focus completely away from my original pursuits. In fact, during all this I have actually got other work started as well (The Merchant's Son by Arley Cole--the fantasy penname).

But I am having FUN again at last. And since statistics show that most writers barely cover their expenses with their stuff, I figure the FUN factor has got to be the most important one. I don't want to spend all my days stressed out and dissatisfied with my life.

And don't even get me started on that whole 25 Reasons to Quit Writing by Chuck Wendig. I have considered every damned one and known in my heart that he's 100% right. But it doesn't change anything. I have to write, and damn it, it had better be FUN.

So thanks for coming back from the brink of death, Muse. I'm glad to have you here, even if the rest of my family thinks I'm insane.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have FUN writing to do. I left Nerian Elidor being attacked by giant bloodsucking wasps and Mayhem from Allstate in bed with the candy girl--though not like you think. Best of all, it's FUN.